Falling in love with your flatmate – how to know if it’s mutual

Falling in love with your flatmate - how to know if it's mutual


Having a flatmate means letting another person into your personal space and giving them the opportunity to get to know you better than most of your friends. Sometimes it happens that you get attracted to your flatmate and you are not sure if it is mutual. How to deal with this? Should you discuss it with someone? Is it even possible for two flatmates to start a romantic relationship? What will happen next?

These (and many other) questions may already be in your head. To help you find out the answers, we’ve gathered some of the best tips and advice on falling in love with your flatmate:

Give yourself some time

Falling for your flatmate happens and it is completely natural. After all, you’ve finally found someone to share the expenses with and probably a new friend you feel you can tell anything. Suddenly, you find yourself thinking about your housemate more and more often, and your thoughts cross the friendship threshold. It’s a good idea to give yourself some time to cool off and see what it is that attracts you. If it is just the convenience of you both already living together, maybe a month or two without any action on your side will turn those romantic feelings to genuine feelings of friendliness.

Be on the look for signs

If you are already sure you have feelings for your flatmate, you have to determine whether those romantic feelings are mutual. Needless to say, if your housemate is already in a relationship (and they don’t complain about it), your chances are close to zero. If they are single, however, this does not necessarily mean they want to get into a roomie relationship with you. To see if you’ve both developed mutual feelings for each other, read their body language. Are they giving you their undivided attention when you talk? Do they laugh at your jokes? Is there eye contact? Do they touch your arm when you talk?

Consider your options

Whether it is mutual or not, you have to decide what you want to do about it. It’s a complicated situation as you are probably bound by lease agreements and it’s not just emotions standing between you. If they don’t feel the same way, are you going to move out? What if they decide to move out? These are all things you should carefully consider before you confess it all.